The far right keep re-appropriating our experiences, and we don’t like it

Trigger warning, this post is about horrible far right scumbags who talk a lot about child abuse, this might be triggering.

There’s a recurring theme among the far right such as the BNP, EDL and National Front is their utter outraged rhetoric concerned child victims of sexual abuse. They shout about hanging paedophiles and “Muslim rape gangs”. Of course, it’s perfectly legitimate to angry about any case of sexual violence, especially when it involves the most powerless in society, children, the disabled, etc. But I reject their anger. I do not want their anger.

We are not on the same side.

Do you hear me fascists? WE ARE NOT ON THE SAME SIDE.

I began thinking about this post when Tommy Robinson- scum bag in chief of the EDL- appeared on the Big Questions. (series 5, episode 13) (why the BBC insists on giving racists a platform I just cannot fathom, but that’s another issue). And the thing that struck me, was that he was talking as if he represented child victims of abuse.

As if it was about HIS outrage, HIS anger, HE, HIM, HIS.

But if you’re going to do work for victims of abuse, Tommy, it’s not about you. It’s never about you.

I got myself too angry at the way he was using our experiences to further his own political agenda (just as I have with some left wing groups, such as the Holy Greig group) so decided to leave this blog post. But yesterday I watched Question Time, and was disgusted by the abhorrent victim blaming of some girls involved in a grooming case, by one of the panellists (“what does it say about our society when girls as young as 12 are willing to give up their innocence for a bag of crisps”- puke).

I, as you might expect, went on a man tweeting spree. I went away for half an hour, came back, and found that I’d been retweeted by several people, and followed by a few new people. 5 of these retweets and 4 of these new followers were far right nationalists.

I am disgusted that MY experiences, MY anger, MY outrage, MY SISTERS’ experences, MY SISTERS’ anger, MY SISTERS’ outrage is being re-appropriated in this way, by these awful people.

These are OUR experiences, and we can use them how we want. They are not for them. I do not tweet publicly about my experiences to help add kindling to their fire of racism and bigotry. I tweet about them for me, and for other victims who can’t do so, and as tiny bit of feminist action. 

so, Dear The Right,

Stop assuming you have the right to speak about experiences that you do not have. Any movement using experiences such as child abuse must be lead by the victims and survivors of such abuse. What you currently do, is re-appropriate our experiences, and use them in ways that are downright offensive. 

You have no right to shout from the rooftops of your anger, you have no idea what anger is- if yours is based on knee-jerk reactions and racism.

Victims of abuse will use our experiences in the way that we see fit, we will form movements and campaigns around it in the ways that we see fit.

You will stop stealing from us the right to our own anger.

Let me tell you a story of being harassed by the police whilst not quite being naked…

Once upon a time, there was a feminist art student called beti. beti liked to fight dragons (read: patriarchy) and make art and eat takeaways. 

One day, beti was in her house, eating takeaway trying to study in her bra and pants- as was her want of a Sunday evening. Suddenly, she realised she need to go for a wee, so she walked down her stairs, round the corner and ever so briefly passed by her window. 

Suddenly, there came a knock on the door. beti hurriedly pulled on a coat on so that the cold Scottish winds didn’t freeze her nips off as she opened the door, and when she was fully prepared for the arctic conditions, she opened the door.

She found two Police officers (read: pigs, scum etc) standing on her doorstep, the male police officer looking uncomfortable, the female police officer looking disapproving.

“Yes?” beti asked, a healthy dose of lefty paranoia based adrenaline racing round her body (“don’t get arrested in your pants, don’t get arrested in your pants” she thought to herself)

“We’ve just had a phonecall from someone complaining about indecent exposure” said disapproving piggie.

beti didn’t understand this, “but I’m in my house..” she said, confused.

uncomfortable piggie shifted on his feet and tried not to look at beti as his partner explained-

“if a man had been looking in it would be indecent exposure”.

beti felt there was no point in continuing this conversation any longer, as stylish as she looked in her bra, pants, and faux dalmatian fur coat, she was very very cold. She said (read: she lied) she wouldn’t do it again and wished piggies one and two a good night (“come the revolution, I will make sweet and sour pork balls out of you”).

beti told twitter about the exchange, and unsurprisingly, twitter was shocked and appalled. 

beti resolved to ALWAYS BE NAKED AT HOME. 

as did many of the other outraged tweeters, comrades and sisters.

beti also read up on the laws about being naked, and also found that she definitely did not do anything wrong.

beti spent the rest of the evening shouting “ACAB ACAB ACAB” over and over.

the end.

Note: there are two laws I could find that I think could actually be relevant here, the first thing is Voyeurism http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/67- if this was applicable, it would most certainly NOT be me in the wrong, it would be the observer.

the second is Exposure http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/66 which so clearly doesn’t apply here. first off, my genitals were not on show, i was wearing bra and pants, second of all, even if they were there was absolutely no intention of anyone seeing anything, let alone being caused alarm or distress.

 

ACAB.

 

Rule number 1 for being a feminist comrade:

In other words, an easy step towards not being a patriarchal, misogynist, cunt-fearing, sexist, oppressive bastard.

And it’s really simple:

LISTEN TO AND TRUST WOMEN.

We constantly fight to be able to speak. But the sad fact is that even when we do speak we probably won’t be heard. We will probably not be listened to.We will probably be gaslighted. We will probably be called liars.We will be minimised. We will probably have our experience denied. We will be shut down. 

This is not ok.

It’s not ok when it happens anywhere, but it is especially not ok when it is people who are supposed to be our comrades and our friends who are doing it.

To use an example, there is a worrying trend within society to assume that a woman who speaks about being a victim or survivor of sexual violence is making it up. This happens whether she is officially reporting it or just sharing, simply talking about it. 

This is a myth that we need to kill, NOW. The number of women who lie about sexual violence is grossly over exaggerated. All you have to do is use your common sense to consider why a woman would do that? Do the gains outweigh the pain and struggle of sharing a story like that if it isn’t true? No? Then fuck off with your denial and your mistrust.

This isn’t just an obstacle that we face when we report sexual violence to the police, it isn’t just an obstacle we face in the media, it’s also an obstacle provided by some of the men who are supposed to support us, who call themselves pro-feminists, who sometimes even have the gall to call themselves feminists, and who definitely consider themselves our comrades on the left.

No.

Dear men of the left, you are supposed to be the goodies. You are supposed to be progressive. You are supposed to be on our side. Stop letting us down by doing this shit. I want to work with you. It is vital that we have as much unity as possible in our struggle against horrible big nasty things like capitalism. But I cannot work with you if you are misogynists. And doing any and/or all of the above- in my book- makes you a misogynist. If you want the left to progress you have to get rid of all of these shitey awful patriarchal behaviours and ways of thinking. Any chance this could maybe be your first step? It really isn’t a difficult rule to follow-

don’t just let us speak, listen. 
don’t minimise us.
don’t laugh at us.
don’t shut us down.
don’t say we’re lying.

listen to us and trust us.