Rule number 1 for being a feminist comrade:

In Uncategorized on April 28, 2012 at 12:35 am

In other words, an easy step towards not being a patriarchal, misogynist, cunt-fearing, sexist, oppressive bastard.

And it’s really simple:


We constantly fight to be able to speak. But the sad fact is that even when we do speak we probably won’t be heard. We will probably not be listened to.We will probably be gaslighted. We will probably be called liars.We will be minimised. We will probably have our experience denied. We will be shut down. 

This is not ok.

It’s not ok when it happens anywhere, but it is especially not ok when it is people who are supposed to be our comrades and our friends who are doing it.

To use an example, there is a worrying trend within society to assume that a woman who speaks about being a victim or survivor of sexual violence is making it up. This happens whether she is officially reporting it or just sharing, simply talking about it. 

This is a myth that we need to kill, NOW. The number of women who lie about sexual violence is grossly over exaggerated. All you have to do is use your common sense to consider why a woman would do that? Do the gains outweigh the pain and struggle of sharing a story like that if it isn’t true? No? Then fuck off with your denial and your mistrust.

This isn’t just an obstacle that we face when we report sexual violence to the police, it isn’t just an obstacle we face in the media, it’s also an obstacle provided by some of the men who are supposed to support us, who call themselves pro-feminists, who sometimes even have the gall to call themselves feminists, and who definitely consider themselves our comrades on the left.


Dear men of the left, you are supposed to be the goodies. You are supposed to be progressive. You are supposed to be on our side. Stop letting us down by doing this shit. I want to work with you. It is vital that we have as much unity as possible in our struggle against horrible big nasty things like capitalism. But I cannot work with you if you are misogynists. And doing any and/or all of the above- in my book- makes you a misogynist. If you want the left to progress you have to get rid of all of these shitey awful patriarchal behaviours and ways of thinking. Any chance this could maybe be your first step? It really isn’t a difficult rule to follow-

don’t just let us speak, listen
don’t minimise us.
don’t laugh at us.
don’t shut us down.
don’t say we’re lying.

listen to us and trust us.

  1. ‘Listen to and trust us’ – I address pretty much the same sentiment to queer feminists in my zine at Thanks for being awesome!

  2. […] too much apologism for people who are violent, including sexually violent people. Read these blog posts: Sexual predators are not welcome. People, often women, do not try to get rid of people who’ve […]

  3. […] Rule number 1 for being a feminist comrade: […]

  4. This is true for all of us who feel the world and all human beings are pro-love entities and hence associative for all acts called LOVE and it is only love where both smile and cry co-exist and all really understands each other along with her/himself .All acts become anti-oppressive but the world goes on with a huge amount of attractive differences in tunes and rhythms and none will be bothered to make it ONE or become the HEAD as ONE and no one will be bothered to create a ONE GOD above us. SO LET US SAY POLITELY NO COOPERATION TO OPPRESSION and VIOLENCE

  5. I loved this so much I posted it on both my Facebook profiles along with Mhairi McAlpine’s post on misogyny and the Left (

    It’s worthy of Astra the brilliant feminist poet (see the anthology One Foot on the Mountain, Onlywomen press for her poems). Thanks!

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